Enchanted Exhaustion

Cindy and I took our grandson Krischan to Orlando to spend three days at Disney World and Universal Studios during his winter break from first grade.  It turned out to be (lots and lots of) money well spent because it was an absolute freakin’ blast.  Krischan had fun, too. 

Although it’s been less than a week since our trip, here are some of the things I still remember.  Everything else is pretty much just a blur. 

·      I immediately felt at home in the Magic Kingdom when I noticed the company logo on the sleeves of the policemen’s uniforms.  I’d lived in Peachtree City, Georgia for 24 years and was very familiar with the Mickey Mouse police.

·      While standing in line for ‘It’s a Small World’ an attendant gave me a plastic card instructing me to give it to the last attendant I encountered before getting on the ride.  Apparently Disney utilizes this system to monitor how long it takes for you to get through the line and posts this information at the entrance to the ride.  Instead I gave it to the person in line behind me and asked them to keep passing it back.  When I passed the ride again later in the afternoon I noticed an eight-and-a-half hour wait was posted out front.  Goofy, huh? 

·      Best line of the three days in Orlando: ‘I got soaked in dragon snot.’  Krischan, after riding on the Shrek attraction.  (Cindy and I got soaked as well.  I might add that every ride he went on—and he went on a bunch—we went on with him.  Wouldn’t have had it any other way.) 

·      Krischan expressed a fear of heights the very first morning and was adamant there would be no roller coasters in his immediate future (‘maybe when I’m older’).  He DID ride Transformers and fell off a (faux) skyscraper.  He DID ride Harry Potter and fell off a (faux) mountain.  He DID ride Spiderman and fell off a (faux) skyscraper and all the way through the (faux) street below.  He climbed to the very top of the Swiss Family Robinson treehouse without so much as giving it a second thought.  Just no roller coasters because, you know—his (faux) fear of heights and all.

·      We stopped to watch a parade and Dora the Explorer made herself available for photographs.  I asked Krischan if he wanted his picture taken with her and he said ‘Dora is for little kids.’  He followed it immediately with ‘LOOK!!! SPONGEBOB!!!’

·      A 1957 Chevy Bel Air—my dream car--was parked outside Mel’s diner where we had lunch one day.  I thought to myself as Cindy took a photograph of Krischan and me if this was my surprise reward for taking them to Orlando.  Note to self: Dream on.

·      At the three theme parks all guests are searched for weapons as they are prohibited.  Yet there is a store in Universal where you can buy actual swords, knives and kitanas.  So I guess what the parks are really trying to say is you can’t bring your OWN weapons in. 

·      While we were in Orlando there were auditions for Fear Factor and America’s Got Talent.  I would have tried out for them but (a) I’m afraid of heights, a little bit claustrophobic and will under no circumstances eat a bug and (b) I have absolutely no talent, respectively.

·      Cindy wanted to ride the Popeye rafting ride, the one with a guarantee that you WOULD get wet.  The day was rather cool and windy and I already had a bit of a cold.  But yet she insisted.  I made it through all the bounces, corners and rapids with barely a drop of water on me and was coasting to the finish when an oversized plastic Bluto came out of the ground and for no reason whatsoever launched a torrent of water so fast and furious you would have sworn it was shot from a cannon.  Guess where all of that water landed?

·      Once you get off the Popeye ride you can get in the ‘human dryer’ for a minute (for a mere $5) or buy an overpriced Olive Oyl towel to dry off.  Or you can air dry like me in which case: Good luck with the walking pneumonia that will plague you for the next week.

·      We saw a horror makeup show and the gentleman on stage was a literal laugh riot.  Although he used mostly adult humor, he called on an 11-year old boy from Chile as a volunteer to assist him throughout the show.  His name was ‘Gaspud.’  Krischan found that hilarious—especially when the host told the little boy his name was a potato in America.  A week later Krischan stills says the name out loud and laughs.  And that, in turn makes ME laugh.  The gift that keeps on giving, I guess.      

·      People actually clapped after riding the Transformers.  Be sure to include me in ‘people.’ 

·      By my unofficial calculations the wait in line for most rides is approximately 53 times longer than the ride itself (45-second ride = 40-minute wait).        

·      The Grinch held true to form and put his hand over Krischan’s face when I took a picture of the two of them together.   (Almost forgot: Sam I Am was also in the picture.  You know; from Green Eggs and Ham.)

·      Krischan and I waited 30 minutes in line to ride the Pterodactyl, a 45-second ride on a cable 40 feet in the air suspended around the perimeter of Jurassic Park.  A couple minutes before it was our turn he reminded me of his fear of heights, followed by ‘I think I’m thinking about it too much.’  I told him to think of something else, like what he wanted for dessert later.  He rolled his eyes, ran his tongue over his lips and said ‘chocolate syrup on ice cream’  He got on the ride, called it ‘awesome’ afterwards and later had chocolate syrup on ice cream for dessert.  The power of positive thinking.  And chocolate. 

·      Speaking of Jurassic Park, I mentioned to Krischan we would be seeing some real live dinosaurs.  Krischan was quick to point out that the dinosaurs would be ‘animatronics’ because REAL dinosaurs were extinct.  Later on Krischan ‘examined’ a dinosaur egg on a scanner before witnessing a scientist examine a (honest-to-goodness-it-looked-sooooo-real) baby triceratops.  Krischan got to pet the infant dinosaur and just as quick as he had told me dinosaurs were extinct told me this one ‘must be real.’  I asked him how that could be and he said it must have come from one of the dinosaur eggs you could look at on the scanner.   Naturally I rolled with that punch…

·      I was amazed at Krischan’s stamina.  Thirty hours over three days in three different theme parks and not once did he tell us he was tired.   Hungry?  Well that’s another story. 

Krischan’s exhaustion appeared on the return trip back to Senoia, as he slept a good four hours on the drive home.  It was the sound, peaceful sleep of a little boy who just experienced the most exciting, fun-filled, thrill-a-minute three days of his short life.   

Cindy promised to take Krischan to Orlando again when he was ready to ride on the roller coasters.  Hopefully I will have recovered by then, but right now I’m exhausted.  

However the first thing I need to do is get over this damn walking pneumonia.