Is my Microphone on?

A comedian walks out on stage in front of a modest crowd at the local comedy club:

A skunk walks into a bar and says: ‘Hey, where did everybody go?’

The crowd is deathly silent.  The comedian taps on the microphone.

‘Hello?  Is my microphone on?’

I know the feeling.

My blog has now been active for slightly more than six months. 

·      This is my 52^nd post. 

·      I’ve had more than 4,500 views to date, an average of almost 90 views for each post. 

·      I have received a total of six comments.

·      Last and certainly least I have a grand total of zero followers.  What makes matters worse: It doesn’t cost a thing to be a follower.  It’s not like you’re signing over your first born, soul or Kia Sorento, for crying out loud.     

Granted, I put a link to each of my posts via Facebook; that always generates several ‘likes’ and the occasional comment—on Facebook, not on the blog.  I know the ‘likes’ on Facebook have greatly outnumbered the ‘comments’ on the blog. 

·      Regarding the disparity between the number of ‘likes’ on Facebook and the number of ‘comments’ on the blog: I’ve suggested to Z (the Facebook founder, whose name is hard to spell so for me it’s a Z) to add a few other options, such as ‘love it,’ ‘best thing I’ve ever read,’ ‘eh,’ ‘that’s three minutes of my life I’ll never get back’ and ‘please don’t waste my time with this sh*t.’

·      Regarding the extremely low volume of ‘comments’ on the blog: What are you afraid of?  I don’t bite.

I try to make my blogs worth your time.  If things work out as I had originally intended you’ll smile, laugh, get a tear in your eye, feel warmth in your heart, become motivated and occasionally get fired up if you spend a couple minutes reading my blog.  And should you experience any of these things, I’d like to hear about it.   At least occasionally, as in once in a blue moon (diametrically different than the current situation of ‘almost never’).

I try to make my Facebook posts worth your time as well.  I won’t tell you how far (debatable) I ran, how fast (laughable) I ran, what I ate for lunch, what I’m drinking after dinner or that I had a bowel movement three days in a row (all bets are off should it ever reach four or more).  I won’t post a photo of myself sitting in my car on a particularly good hair day or one when I’m exhausted after a tough long run.  I won’t tell you how many burpees I did (as if I ever did the first one to begin with or that I even know what they are) or how many calories I burned chasing the UPS guy down the street when he drove off with my package that he should have left on the front porch anyway and this wouldn’t even be an issue if he had given me more than 2.5 seconds to answer the doorbell in the first place.

Long story short: If you read one of my blogs and ‘the spirit moves you,’ let me know what you think.  I’d really like to hear what you have to say.

Then again, it’s not like I’m being paid for this.  Forget I even mentioned it.

I’m turning my microphone off for the rest of the day.