Today is Wednesday, February 12, 2014: The day the
Governor of the state of Georgia closed the city of Atlanta.
Let me back up for a moment. Two weeks ago today an unresponsive and
unprepared Atlanta became the laughing stock of the nation when three inches of
snow resulted in devastation and destruction other cities might experience from
an even meaner side of Mother Nature.
You know; something along the lines of a tornado, hurricane or
earthquake. But then again this is the
Deep South, where the ability to drive in the snow is needed about as often as a
Georgia native turns down grits at the local Waffle House.
So two days ago, in a public announcement to proclaim
a legitimate State of Emergency the Governor—with two-week old egg still all
over his face—essentially requested Atlanta to shut ‘er down at the prospect of
an impending ice storm.
After turning on the television this morning I can
only say: Good call, Governor. Your
chance of being reelected just improved and maybe, just maybe the late night
shows won’t use you as fodder in their opening monologues for a while. Then again, the world’s busiest airport is
closed, the production of Coca-Cola has hit the pause button and perhaps worst
of all, the filming of The Walking Dead
in the Atlanta suburb of Senoia is at a standstill. Let’s hope for a quick thaw once the ice
storm has run its course.
Speaking of ‘run,’ today’s was rather unique. I left the house this morning around 9:30 and
was greeted by a stiff breeze that brought the wind chill down to a brisk 17
degrees. On the streets I encountered
numerous broken branches and tree limbs; the last time I had seen anything like
it was after a hurricane passed through town.
Apparently last night was Arbor Day’s evil twin (Pearl Arbor Day?) as
the combination of sleet, ice and wind did quite a number on the local foliage,
turning the gray asphalt streets into a veritable sea of green. One thing is for sure: Whoever is responsible
for cleaning up this mess nature left behind is in for a very busy next couple
of days.
But the obstacles on the asphalt were not what made
todays run unique: Rather it was the dramatic change in temperature I
experienced five miles into it.
As the Governor had advised against driving during the
ice storm, and with me being the law-abiding citizen that I am, I followed his
advice and opted to run over to the assisting living complex Cindy’s dad was
living in to take him some personal items he wanted. When I got to his room I opened the door and
found him asleep in his bed. I was
hoping so much he would be snoring, because a couple nights ago something
inspired me to create several colorful analogies to describe snoring. NOTE: I PROMISED MY WIFE I WOULD MAKE IT VERY
CLEAR THAT SHE WAS NOT THE SOURCE OF THIS INSPIRATION. (Are
you happy now, sweetheart?) I so much wanted to tell you I found him
asleep sounding like his tonsils were caught in a bear trap ... or a ballpoint
pen being stuck in an electric pencil sharpener… or a dentist cracking open a
jaw so he could insert a titanium post to support a crown to replace the
incisor on the right side of your mouth since you did such a horrible job
taking care of it all these years.
But he was actually sleeping quite peacefully; much
more so than Cindy was a couple nights ago.
NOTE: THIS IN NO WAY NEGATES MY NOTE IN THE PREVIOUS PARAGRAPH. Which brings me to what made today’s run so
unique: The thermostat in the room was set at a robust 85 degrees. (I
didn’t even know thermostats could be set that high. The thermostat in my car can be set as low as
60 degrees or as high as 80 degrees; anything beyond and the setting reads
either ‘low’ or ‘high.’) In other words, the temperature in the room
was almost 70 degrees higher than what it was outside. What made matters worse: He woke up while I
was in the room and wanted to talk, giving me a good 30 minutes to dry out and
get warm before heading back out for the five miles back.
On the run home it took me a couple of miles before my
teeth (and a certain crown where an incisor used to be) stopped chattering and
the wet stuff covering my eyeballs (forgive me, for I suck at science) started
thawing out. All in all I enjoyed the
run, a rather peaceful 10 miles only disturbed by the occasional howl of the
wind or the distant murmur of tree limbs being fed into a wood chipper which,
if I didn’t know any better would have thought was the sound of someone’s
tonsils being caught in a bear trap.
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